Selfish.
I have never claimed to be a good person.
Other people have told me that I am, of course. I’ve been praised for being honest, dependable, sympathetic, upbeat, giving, intelligent, amusing, and so on… but that’s never changed the fact that, beneath it all, I am an unpleasant bitch. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve been manipulative and I’ve destroyed lives when I decided it was time to move on. I have a temper that can get set off by the smallest thing, I’ve never been considerate of the feelings of others, I’ve used guilt trips without a second thought…and above all, I am selfish. God, am I ever selfish.
Know what I’m thinking right now? Well alright… but keep in mind that the sarcasm on what follows is painted about an inch thick.
I only moved 1,237 miles to be here in Evansville so I could be within striking distance of where the man that I love goes to college. I only chose to sacrifice a well-paying job to live in this shithole of a city where I’m lucky if I make $8 an hour. I barely know anyone, but that’s just fucking peachy – it’s not like you don’t have friends. Besides, it’s not like I only see you two days a week if I’m lucky – all that matters is that I’m supposed to sit there and smile when it gets cut back to one, merrily waiting in the fucking closet until you’re ready to play with me. Don’t worry about me though, dear – no one’s ever killed themselves because of loneliness, after all. No, really… I don’t fucking mind.
Now, what brought this on? Jake wanting to play DnD on Evansville campus on Fridays. Yes, that’s right – I’m getting this upset over a stupid fucking game and how it’s going to cut into the time that he’s free to spend with me.
God, there are times that I hate me.
AT&T’s Death Knell
When I first heard about AT&T blocking a few of 4chan‘s subforums, I was shocked. That soon gave way to outrage, a deep and burning sort of anger that started at the core of my being and made its way outward. Am I so infuriated because I once was a /b/tard? Yes, but there’s a far larger issue here, one that I’m sure AT&T will be doing their damndest to sweep under the rug while trying to paint themselves as the victim.
That issue, boys and girls, is censorship.
Under the FCC’s Comcast/BitTorrent ruling, Internet Service Providers may only slow or cap connection speeds. They are not allowed to block any service or protocol on the internet. 4chan, as a web site, is conforming to standard web page protocols. If one goes off of this, then the truth is obvious; AT&T does not have the legal right to block 4chan, only to cap customers who are “abusing” their access to the internet. 4chan has long since been seen as a bastion of free speech, not to mention the home of Anonymous. While they’re most publicly known for their campaign against Scientology, this sizable group has also done a world of good when it comes to helping open Iranian proxies, even going as far as starting a forum offering help to Iranian protesters, showing them how to surf securely and avoid censorship. I don’t give a flying fuck if what can be sometimes seen on /b/ could be viewed as disgusting or gross – that doesn’t change the fact that, if AT&T gets away with this, it could set a dangerous precedent for censorship.
Fuck that. The world will not be that way within reach of my arm!
If you’ve got a contract with AT&T and can switch to another service, do so – and make sure that you reference this as the reason why you’re leaving. If you’re not using AT&T, then spread the word to everyone you know; boycott them. While some are reporting that the block has been lifted, there is no confirmation as of yet to back it up, while there is abundant proof that AT&T is breaking the law. We cannot let this blatant censorship go unpunished. A message needs to be sent to those foolish enough to violate Network Neutrality that it will not be tolerated. If you want to speak up, there’s already great organization going on here to help you do so.
DOWN WITH AT&T!
EDITED TO ADD: Cogent Communications has joined the club—they’re now blocking all of 4chan, as is stated on the 4chan Status page. This is going to get even uglier…
E-Famous? Me?!
It’s more likely than you think…
So I’ve been a regular on my friend Tyler‘s radio show over on Talk Radio X for over a year now. During that time, I’ve talked candidly about my relationship with Jake, my past, and the present – I’ve also wiped the floor in trivia more than a few times, even winning the overall competition for the Winter Trivia. It’s rare, though, that I find myself surprised by how I end up being referenced. Tonight, I found out about one of those times.
That’s right, folks… I somehow became The Bad Side’s Blog Post of the Day on July 20th. Excuse me while I gloat over beating out a post about porn stars…
^__^
…and done.
Now, what could have caught Tyler’s attention? What could I have written that impressed him so much that he, a known pervert of the highest order*, passed up talking about hot naked women to talk about an entry from my modest little blog? It wasn’t my list of five people that I could get away with sleeping with, my short fiction piece, or even that adorable little .gif of a squirrel tackling a plushie impostor of its kind.
No, folks… it was my Twilight review.
Yes, that’s right – I have accidentally found what is apparently supposed to be my niche when it comes to this thing. Looks like I’ve got to do more of those now, doesn’t it? Thing is, I’ve got no idea what to do next since I am rather picky about the movies that I watch. This is where you folks come in – make suggestions in the comments! Keep in mind that I don’t do straight-up horror movies, nor am I really a fan of gore for the sake of gore.
* I say this with all love and affection, being one myself.
Finding the Nerve
For all that I am about as feminine as an old flannel shirt, I have my moments of hopeless romanticism. Ordinarily I do a good job of burying those moments under Grand Theft Auto and old Wrestlemania videos, but the rare occasion emerges where I can’t stifle it. When combined with boredom, it can either inspire me to watch bad romances (I’m lookin’ at you, Twilight!) or to write short stories so cheesy that it gives Velveeta a run for its money. Usually I delete them, the sappiness too much to bear… but once in awhile, one survives to surprise me when I’m digging through My Documents for an updated copy of my resume. After cracking this one open and glancing it over, I decided that it was good enough to get a chuckle or two… so here it is.
It is with some level of amusement that I present to you a short story that I wrote at roughly 3 AM during one of Winnipeg’s coldest nights. I was probably missing Jake more than usual when I sat down to type this out… so hopefully the sentiment isn’t drowned under the cheese. This is ‘Finding the Nerve’.
Movie Review: Twilight
So I’ve always been an equal-opportunity mocker. Be it bad books, bad music, bad movies, bad video games… I make fun of them all, and I do it without so much as batting an eyelash at the fanboys and fangirls that I might piss off. However, even I have my standards; if I’m going to make more than a passing joke here or there off of what I have heard, I force myself to partake in the suckage in the name of getting accurate material. That, combined with a lot of boredom, led me to watch Twilight.
Two hours later… and I’ve got a lot of material.
First, of course, I’m going to go into the bad. There was someone, I can’t remember who, that compared Kristen Stewart to Keanu Reeves… and it fits painfully well. From their facial features to the almost corpselike delivery of her lines, Bella’s entire being just falls flat and is undoubtedly the worst part of the movie. This movie could’ve been something almost decent had her performance not been as dead as the Cullens supposedly are. Most of the supporting actors fall under this same category; beyond Alice’s actress (who does a pretty good job of portraying what I have heard is a quirky character), the rest of the vampiric clan seems stilted. The evil vampires suffer from the opposite; they overdo their roles and ultimately come off as campy instead of as the scary monsters in human skins that they were supposed to be.
In contrast – and probably because of some of his own talent as well as how he compared to the rest of the cast – Robert Pattinson actually does a pretty good job of bringing Edward Cullen to life. Were it not for how a vampire sparkling in the sun makes me want to gouge out my eyes and run screaming into the sunset, I would’ve actually enjoyed the character. For all that Stephanie Meyers fell flat in creating a heroine, the hero (if you want to call him that) is actually a decently complex character that would’ve been thoroughly enjoyed if it wasn’t for the almost stalker way he behaves in the beginning. I get liking to watch one’s lover sleep, I really do… but doing that before you’ve been accepted as someone’s partner? Tres creepy.
Now, as for what else they get right; the director and production crew chose a really pretty part of Washington to serve as their backdrop. As someone that grew up in a small town surrounded by the woods, I can appreciate a pretty clearing… and there’s plenty of those. The special effects are also done well, as are the little interactions in the high school scenes – Bella being bullied a little was even done right. As has seemingly become the norm with shitty action/supernatural movies, the best thing about Twilight… is the soundtrack. Paramore’s songs are especially awesome, with Collective Soul and Blue Foundation both contributing solid songs. There’s also Muse, Linkin Park (a non-emo song, no less!), Iron & Wine, Perry Farrell… and, oddly enough, Robert Pattinson’s contributions actually don’t suck!
In closing, while I don’t want those two hours of my life back, I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch this movie again. I was admittedly shocked to find that there was actually something worth praising amongst this sparkly pile of bullshit. When the other movies in this quartet make their way onto the internet, I will probably give them a once-over just to see what comes next. Will Kristen Stewart learn to act? Only time will tell.
Oh, and before you ask… no, I don’t plan on reading the books. While I’m crazy, I’m not that crazy. This is a series that is best taken in, I think, via film instead of overflowing purple text.
CD or short story? You be the judge!
…and no sooner do I make a post begging for mercy do I come up with something to write about that won’t get me hung from the nearest rafter by my ankles. Go figure, eh? Eheh…
Anyway, one of my biggest hobbies is e-fedding – pretty much, you make up a wrestler that competes against other wrestlers. To win, you write either shoots (think trash talk, but more thorough) or character developments – CDs, for short – and if you out-write your opponent, you win. Shoots have never been my strong point, although I am improving more and more as time goes on… to compensate for that, I’ve kicked ass with CDs since day one. Most of why they come so easily to me is simple; ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved writing short stories. Add onto that roughly a decade of just straight-up freeform roleplaying and it’s no wonder that I favor CDs over anything else if given the choice.
So my question is simple; is there really a difference between the two?
I don’t think so, but I’m not going to let those that are unfamiliar with e-fedding try to answer that question without giving you an example to go off of. I wrote this to introduce my primary character, Allison Detorre, to a new e-federation… and I am admittedly rather proud of it. Since it’s a fairly long piece, I’ll go ahead and put it beneath a cut below. Oh, and before I begin; the song lyrics I utilize are Depeche Mode – Dream On. Great song – I really recommend it.
False Starts
I’m sorry for the lack of new content, folks – it just seems like every time I start an entry for this thing, something derails it. Be it my memory failing in recounting one of the numerous weird conversations that I have with my fiance on a daily basis, my notoriously poor attention span getting snagged by a random shiny object, or discretion actually keeping me from hitting ‘Publish’ on a half-completed rant on how someone I know values hearsay over the word of the people that were actually there, I’ve just hit a lot of brick walls as of late. Hopefully, I’ll get something together soon.
Until then, readers, I throw myself upon your mercies and plead for your mercy!
